Part 7
“Is it then extraordinary that the bridegroom should wish to speak to his bride?”
From the feast of the Sacred Heart in 1902 onwards, Sister Eugénie Joubert seemed to have received a special gift of love and intimacy with Jesus.
She was very discreet about her “visits” to the Lord that she experienced in a sensitive mode.
Still, it was disconcerting enough for her to confide in her superior, Mother Marie-Ignace, who reassured her and asked her to write down those spiritual exchanges. This gives us the grace to join her in learning divine advice.
Her diary gives us a glimpse into her ever-deepening devotion to Jesus.
It is worth pointing out that at the same time (March 1902), our Blessed suffered her first sudden blood-vomiting, which the doctor judged to be harmless. In June 1902, on Corpus Christi, she was totally exhausted and the doctor found that her lungs were seriously damaged. She was transferred to the monastery infirmary and began a new life that often kept her apart from her fellow sisters. In that context, Jesus and Sister Eugénie entered into an intimate dialogue, from which we will quote large extracts.
In order to educate the young nun to spiritual childhood, Jesus invited her to have great trust and helped her to discover how much our distrust hurts his loving Heart.
On the feast of Saint John the Evangelist in 1902, a great desire came over her to approach the Heart of Jesus and to hear, like the beloved Apostle, the beating of that divine Heart:
“Come, my child, Jesus replied, I am speaking to you, I am your God, your Bridegroom. Why still fear? Am I not always infinitely good, loving, powerful and merciful? Do not be afraid: heart-to-heart with me purifies and sanctifies; it is divine and divinises the soul… Forget yourself: look to the side of all purity, let yourself be ravished by my beauty, my love.” (SEJ p.165)
Jesus also invited the young woman he called “his child” to abandon herself.
Faced with what her conscience may reproach her for, He spoke to her of His great Mercy:
from then on, the way was open; it was usually in the form of interior words, very precise ones, that the graces from on high reached her. There were frequent, intimate and touching conversations between Jesus and her.
— “My child, he said to her one day, let me do what I want in your heart: abandon yourself without any further reasoning.
— I do, Jesus, I want it with all my soul, replied Sister Eugénie; but faced with so much goodness, so much love, I remain frightened… You know very well that I have offended you, you know very well that I have wasted my heart’s richness by dwelling on what was not you… I am but dust and sin…
— From all eternity I have seen your faults, your infidelities, and I have loved you. Am I not free to love your misery, your nothingness? Not only do I forgive you, but I forget everything, wanting you to think only of love from now on…”
(SEJ p.166)
And the dialogue continued, calling for complete trust, complete abandonment to Jesus’ Heart.
Trust still seemed to be a battleground. Jesus again exhorted his bride. He wanted to teach her to love, but he was asking her to abandon herself in trust!
Let us also note the childlike simplicity and humility with which our little sister asked Our Lord her questions.
“You are still afraid of me, and you are stopping me from doing what I want. The accomplishment of my smallest will is more pleasing to me and gives me more glory than the salvation of the whole world accomplished by a movement of the will itself. Only when you yourself do exactly what I want will I fulfil your wishes too.”
But when those new graces began, how much Sister Eugénie was afraid of being deceived! She herself explained that to Our Lord in one of the dialogues:
— “My God, she said, I believe in your love, but allow me to tell you something else. You know how afraid I am of falling into illusion, how afraid I am of the extraordinary!… I want to go to you via the most common route, do everything like my fellow Sisters, think like them, and do nothing that they do not do.
— Oh, my child, replied Jesus, how long will you refuse to do what I ask of you? Is it then extraordinary that the Bridegroom should wish to speak to his wife, the mother to her little child (even though the latter does not understand her), the friend to his or her friend? Wouldn’t the opposite be extraordinary? Let yourself be carried away by the Holy Spirit’s breath, full of strength and gentleness, just as a speck of dust on the road is carried away by the lightest breath. If you truly love me, you will always be happy with my smallest wishes; then I will show myself to your soul, I will come there with the Father and the Holy Spirit, I will teach you to find me everywhere, to love me in everything.”
(SEJ p.167-168)
The Divine Master gave invaluable advice on how to be faithful through spiritual childhood:
— “My God, replied Sister Eugénie, tell me how I can be sure of being faithful to you in my sorrow…
— With the cross; I always give sufficient and even superabundant grace to carry it. But if you want an effective way of being faithful in suffering, follow the practice of spiritual childhood. Be small with me, in sorrow, in suffering, in struggle, in prayer, be small, obedient and let yourself be led, bearing everything with joy and love.”
(JVPJ p.34)
Another treasure to meditate on not to be discouraged in our prayer:
one morning, she could not pray:
— « “My God, she said, here I am in your presence; for more than a quarter of an hour I have been standing here before you like a statue, unable to find a word to say to you, unable even to make an act of love: everything in my heart is dry, cold and powerless. Come, Jesus, have pity on my misery, do in me what I cannot do.”
And Jesus replied:
— “Why, my child, do you find sinful what I find good? The prayer of suffering and sacrifice is more pleasing to me than contemplation. Embrace my will with your heart, whatever it may be: that is the best, the most perfect prayer. I love to be sought out, called, desired by the heart that loves me! If, during prayer, it persists in praying, trusting, abandoning itself to my love, I come when the soul least expects it… It is the arrival of the Bridegroom in the middle of the night: this is why the lamp, that is to say the bride’s heart, must always be ready for prayer.”
Another day, she naively said:
— “Jesus, it’s so easy to come to you when you make us feel the sweetness of your presence; but when you disappear, in temptation, in suffering, everything is cold, everything is dry, and I can do nothing more.
— — I always speak to the faithful soul, replied Jesus, and my silence itself is a teaching.”
(SEJ p. 172-173)
Each of the Lord’s teachings is like a precious pearl. By reading these pearls in prayer, the Divine Master will help us to grow in spiritual childhood too!
